When we are faced with a personal crisis, our first instinct is to fall apart. So how do you keep from doing that? First of all, we have more control than we realize. Let the bad news sink in. Acknowledge that you are going through a rough time. Pretending that you aren’t won’t make it any better. It’s ok to be upset and it’s ok to be in pain.
These are all normal reactions. Many of us are strong and feel that we are weak if we ask for help. Actually being able to realize that we need help is one of the steps toward taking control of our lives again. When we go through a crisis, we immediately start to think of all the things that we have to do in order to survive. Having a plan in place will help give you peace of mind and a sense of being in control if and when something happens.
Try and break it down into steps.
- If you are a live-in nanny who just found out that she is losing her job you need to ask yourself, “What is the first thing I need to do to get through the next hour?” Remember that this is a temporary crisis. You need to find a temporary solution.
- When you speak, listen to your words. Avoid negative thoughts like, “This always happens to me”, “I am never going to be able to find another job in this economy”, “I must have done something wrong”, or “This is my fault”. None of these thoughts are productive. These thoughts make you feel worse and are not likely to be true. What you need most is to believe that you are going to get through this.
- It is so important that you have a plan. Every nanny should have a plan but especially live-in nannies. Losing their job means losing their home. This is one of the wisest things you can do to prepare yourself for a transition. You always need to have a place you can go on short notice for at least 24-48 hours where you can catch your breath. Then you need a place you can go for a longer time until you can get back on your feet. This could be the same place but you might have to have 2 places. You also need to have some money put away to live on until you can secure employment. If you have this plan in place ahead of time, when the crisis hits, you can take a deep breath and know that you will have a place to sleep that night.
Having a plan should take a load off your mind. Remember, you don’t have to figure out what you are going to do the next 5 years of your life, you just have to figure out what the next step will be.
It might be helpful to set aside time each day to brainstorm about what you are going to do, how you are going to get through this bump in the road. Treat it like job research. Make lists, network, and then be sure to take some time to take care of yourself. Break it down into baby steps and just do the next thing you know to do. Think about what you want the outcome to be. Be proactive in your own future.
Instead of thinking ”I will never survive this” think about other things that you didn’t think you would survive, but did. The reassurance you have that you have survived other hard things in your life will give you some peace of mind and confidence. Try to think about the future in a positive way. Recognize this as a transition in your life. Transitions move us forward to a place of hope and new beginnings.
Glenda Propst ©Nanny Transitions. This article is authored by Glenda Propst of Nanny Transitions, retaining all rights and ownership. Amslee Institute shared this article with permission from Glenda Propst and Nanny Transitions. For more information, visit nannytransitions.com or follow on Facebook @nannytransitions.
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